May 7, 2019

Most of the time in my role as a coach it's about motivation, inspiration, and encouragement but other times, it's about being vulnerable, uncomfortably transparent, and willing to have #real talk. Today is one of those days ...


They say allow your mess to become your message and I wholeheartedly believe that. It's similar to the idea that your vibe attracts your tribe and I've found that to be very true. I attract women all the time who are struggling with the same things I did and have overcome. 


I don't believe in just posting the highlight reel because that's not real life! Life can be hard and confusing! Just because I'm a coach and have invested huge amounts of hours in my personal development, does not mean I'm exempt from the hard and confusing stuff! I believe when I share the vulnerable stuff it helps people to see they are not alone. 


Well, you're in luck y'all cause I'm feeling pretty messy ... 


The one way to describe how I'm feeling is a big ship that is charging full steam and suddenly throws the engines into reverse. Because of that forward momentum, it doesn't immediately start going in the other direction. The momentum is still pulling the ship forward, while the rest needs time to slow down, catch up, and start moving in the other direction. This is exactly how I feel right now ... 


I'm getting major signs I need to slow down and potentially take a different path but my body and mind are still in that forward momentum, while the rest of me is slowing down to process. 


Physically, I've been doing high-intensity workouts for around 6 years. When I started working at a gym last year, I took it up a notch with Bootcamp and Cycling classes. After about 1 year of this intense regime, my body started to revolt! I started to get minor injuries that just weren't going away and my body was aching more. I've started seeing an amazing holistic chiropractor and she has explained what's going on in my body and has started to unlock years of trauma. From an old accident to old emotions, it's all coming to the surface both physically and emotionally. I'm having to completely switch up the workouts I've been doing for years and go into complete slow and gentle mode, which is extremely challenging for me. I went from balls to the wall to yoga, breath work, stretching, and Epsom salt baths. Honoring where you are physically is not always easy but absolutely necessary. I'm reminding myself of this every day but it's hard! 



If you follow my social media, you've also seen that I recently started working with an Ayurvedic practitioner to tackle my internal health as well. Since my liver donation in 2015, my internal health has changed and it's been a long 4-year process of figuring out my new normal. I've been dealing with painful hive and histamine issues and this journey has led me to several naturopaths, tons of tests, a number of holistic and non-holistic remedies, elimination diets ... the works! Although I've made a lot of progress, I'm still having some issues and I've been called to explore Ayurvedic healing for a number of years.


After my consultation with this practitioner, I'm going to be challenged to change a number of my habits that are not serving my highest good right now. From my sleeping times, to my activities, down to some of my favorite foods like coffee, chocolate, alcohol, tomatoes, spicy foods, and fermented foods. There are other foods on the list but these were the ones that triggered the adult tantrum I had. I proceeded to go out and buy a coffee in protest before I surrendered lol! It's not that I can never have these things again, it's just that I can't have them every day and if that's what my body needs, I have to get on board with that! Just like my body needing slower and gentle workouts, it's also needing cooler and gentle foods.


So needless to say, there are a lot of changes going on in my life right now and it feels a little nuts! It's affecting me personally, physically and professionally because personally and physically I'm being called to slow down but professionally my brain is still stuck in that driving forward momentum. The result is me feeling like I'm being pulled in 2 different directions. 


What I do know for certain is that I'm in this space for a reason and it's my role to stay quiet, still, and remain open to what's next. I know there is something I need to learn from this pain, discomfort, and uncertainty and I'm on board with that.


If you feel this way, know you're not alone! Also, know, we typically feel our most uprooted before our biggest breakthroughs so hold on. I'm here for you ... 




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