It's OK to not be OK ... why is this a reminder we constantly need to receive? To go a step further, why do we feel like we need to give ourselves permission to not be OK?
These past few months I've gone through a lot. Emotional trauma, shifting relationships, needing a new car, packing and living in chaos, moving my things to 4 different places, house/pet sitting, re-branding my business and moving in with a family after living alone for several years.
I gave myself permission these past few months to slow down, feel all the feels, and process everything. I did my best to sit with all the emotions that were arising which was ... ALL of them! I went inward, meditated, cried, lashed out, and everything in between. All the while I told myself, "once you get moved, you need to hit the ground running!"
Turns out my subconscious took that literally because I just turned in my keys yesterday and today I woke up spinning with no idea where to start. I felt all these different parts of myself crying out for attention ... my entrepreneur wanting to charge her business, my inner child feeling completely lost, my planner wanting to "figure shit out", and my barefoot hippie happy to wake up in someone else's grounded home with kisses from their dogs.
I felt completely disconnected, ungrounded, and overwhelmed. I could have easily spiraled but I leaned on the phrase I've had on repeat, "It's OK to not be OK!" I immediately slowed down, sat outside, and connected to what I need today to feel OK.
As soon as I sank into that vibration, I could feel myself slowing down and giving myself permission to scratch all the "doing" thoughts. So instead I sat outside in the sunshine, drank coffee and listened to music, took a bath with relaxing salts and herbs and I snuggled the fur babies.
Even though I knew today was not the day to focus on my business, I felt the calling to tap into a different kind of creativity. A creativity that comes from the quiet, calm, and still part of me. I used to write poetry when I was younger and I was feeling the need to speak to the different sides of myself competing for my attention.
Here's what came out ...
"Oh my brave, strong girl it's OK to not be OK
Give yourself permission to feel all the feels today
Oh my busy, charger it's OK to slow down
Connect to your souls center and root your feet to the ground
Oh my wild wandress it's OK to make space for less "doing"
You need to refuel if you want to continue to chase the dreams you're pursuing
Oh my sweet, vulnerable inner child it's OK to lean into uncertainty
These are simply more opportunities to heal and grow on your beautiful journey
Oh my free-spirited hippie it's OK to live wild and free
Know it's OK to hit the road, live in a van and see all there is to see
Oh my fierce entrepreneur it's OK to say building a business if fucking hard
Allow it to make you stronger and not leave you bitter and scarred
Oh my calm, centered goddess it's time for you to take the reins and run the show
I open my heart and mind to the lessons present helping me grow
Oh magical, friendly Universe thank you for having my back and leading the way
It's because of you I know life is happening for me, not to me and everything will be OK"